DATE
AUTHOR NAME
ADDRESS
Dear AUTHOR,
I have attached the edited manuscript of MANUSCRIPT, for your approval. Please review the edits/queries and return your revised copy to me no later than September 23rd, 2020. Let me know immediately if you have issues accessing the document or if you cannot make the deadline.
First off, what a wonderful manuscript! Your unique voice comes through each page with vivid and evocative detail; I thoroughly enjoyed reading this work. This manuscript is well written, and there are no major changes I suggested. Some initial notes would be to make sure to be consistent with em dashes so they all match (– vs. -). Additionally, our house style determines that there are no spaces before and after an em dash, so review those edits in the attached document to make sure they are to your approval. I also indented some dialogue when it was longer than one line or an exchange between two people, as it made the dialogue easier to read and is compliant with Chicago style: if you would prefer to have these lines formatted in a different way, let me know and we can discuss. There were minimal typos I found and fixed while reading (such as principle vs. principal, a missing ‘k’ in lifelike, etc). I also changed quotation marks so they are all consistent: “ vs. ‘ According to our house style, I changed any all-caps phrases or words to small caps.
There are only a few brief queries I had throughout the manuscript: occasionally a phrase or specific word was unclear in meaning/grammatical style and I left a comment to determine exactly what you meant by it. Those will be quick fixes.
One possible larger/substantive change is on page 19, in which I suggest taking out a specific paragraph. This change is entirely up to you, as I do not think it will make or break the book but it may be a place where you might lose some readers (granted, our usual readership typically has more unusual tastes to begin with, so it is up to you to decide whether you want to lean into the scene or take it out to appeal to some more sensitive folks). I do see the necessity of the scene, in that it would likely have to be rewritten instead of cut: with a doll or stuffed animal instead of a dog, perhaps. Again, these changes are entirely up to you, and while this is a suggestion, it is my belief it will not change much in the entirety of the manuscript, which remains to be an incredible piece of writing.
Review these edits and make any fine-tuning, updating, and rewriting now as we cannot make any larger edits in the proof stage. Let me know immediately if you will not be able to make the deadline of September 23rd, 2020.
Please let me know if you have questions about these edits and reach out to me via email or phone!
Warmth,
Eli Vandegrift
MANUSCRIPT STYLE SHEET
Book title: [redacted]
Author: [redacted]
Primary References:
Chicago Manual of Style, 17th edition: https://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/home.html
Coffee House Press House Style
Notes:
- Manuscript written in first person, present tense, in a nonlinear format: author shifts between moments of childhood to moments of adulthood to moments of present reflection.
- Frequent use of em dashes to insert bits of dialogue/lines/additional comments within lines of prose.
- Conversational tone, casual and realist, almost cynical but not quite: personal statements and anecdotes connecting to references and philosophical/gender political/societal concepts.
- References other writers, scientists, and philosophers with direct quotes, like a research paper, but informal.
- Writes in incomplete clauses and sentence fragments: part of her style [additional note: I didn’t change a lot of these because they seemed important to the voice of the story].
- Some dialogue is not written with quotation marks such as on page 11: “Kat asks me if I’m dating anyone and I say yes. She asks me how my parents feel about my person not being a man. I shrug and say, medium.” This kind of dialogue increases the casual tone of the story and further places the reader in the mind of the writer.
- Lots of pop culture references to movies, TV shows, and books, often with direct quotes from them and brief character analysis.
- Some grammar is incorrect when directly referencing a movie character or person in the narrator’s life.
Special Words, Phrases, and Names:
A:
Amanda [name]
Adam’s Rib [movie title]
Atomic Kitten [song title]
Alli [name]
all-girls
antifascism
Antichrist
Asianness
B:
Black Flag [music group]
Bonnie Rait [name]
Bartleby [name/reference for short story]
Berkeley [place]
Brian [name]
burn-the-banks-full-communism [phrase]
Black Square
Band-Aid/s
Bates Motel [place]
BDSM
C:
Crazy [song title]
Christopher Isherwood [name + reference]
C-section
Chantal Akerman [name]
Chris Burden [name]
cis-hetero-patriarchal
California Dreaming [title]
Carroll Baker on Screen in “Baby Doll” with Passing Silhouette [title for artwork]
Cruising Utopia [book title]
Claire [name]
Carole [name]
D:
Doris Attinger [name]
Diane Arbus
Doomed [title for art piece]
Doritos [food]
Dickie Greenleaf [name]
das Unheimlich
Disney
E:
Earle Dickson [name]
F:
feeblemindedness [n]
flip-flop [adj. used with flimsiness]
Freudian
Forum [place]
G:
Gowanus [place]
Grace [name]
Great Empress of China [title/name]
gun-related
Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain [essay title]
H:
housemother [n]
Holly [name]
Heart [band name]
Hannah Arendt [name]
Hamsa Walker [name]
Hello Kitties [brand]
half-melted
HKD [currency]
hippie-spiritual-hookah [phrase]
I:
I Can’t Make You Love Me [song title]
Idea Finders [website]
J:
Jacob [name]
Judy Holliday [name]
Justin [name]
Josef [name]
J’faim J’froid [movie title]
je tu il elle [movie title]
Jie Jie [name]
José Muñoz [name]
Jenny Holzer [name]
Joey [name]
Jude Law [name]
Josephine Dickson [name]
just-not-this [phrase]
K:
Katharine Hepburn [name]
Kat [name]
Kids Table
Klonopin [medicine]
Kristen Stewart [name]
Kathy Acker [name]
L:
Lindsey [name]
Lizzie McGuire [name]
Liz [name]
Laura Ingalls Wilder [name]
Little House on the Prairie [book series]
LiveJournal [website]
Leviathan’s Edge [art piece]
Lucy Skaer [name]
Leslie Jamison [name]
literally-anything-else [phrase]
M:
Mia Farrow [name]
Marsha [name]
make-it-or-break-it-in-the-city [phrase]
mélange [n]
Mary [name]
Metropolis II [title for art piece]
Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago [place]
May Day [holiday]
Mamas & the Papas [band name]
Malevich
Matisse [painter]
Magic Man [song title]
Matt Damon [name]
Michael Tom
Maggie Cheung [name]
N:
not-not [double negative]
NYC
non-consequentiality
Nutella [food]
New Age
Naguib Mahfouz [name]
not-quite-in-it [phrase]
not-home
O:
Orwell [writer]
Once Upon a Time in Mexico [movie title]
Ore, Florida [place]
P:
Patsy Cline [name]
Proust [novelist]
pissy [adj]
Patricia Highsmith [name]
Paul McCarthy [name]
paid-by-the-hour [phrase]
Q:
R:
Rosemary’s Baby [movie name]
Ruffles [brand of food]
Russian Futurism
S:
Sleater-Kinney [band name]
super-egos
Snow White and the Huntsman [movie title]
Snoopy-shaped
Sophie [name]
Singlish
Sweet Valley High [place]
Speak Better English [title for campaign]
Scorpio [zodiac sign]
Socialist Realism [title]
Sir Thomas More [name]
Sing Sing [place]
smartass
Sailor Moon [anime]
Svetlana Boym [name]
T:
too-fragile (adj.)
The Piano Teacher [book title]
Tumblr [website]
T.H. Watkins [name]
tech-bro
Twix [food]
The Carpenters [band name]
Tate Modern
The Talented Mr. Ripley [movie title]
Tom Ripley [name]
The Price of Salt [book title]
Therese [name]
The Future of Nostalgia [book title]
tweenily
The Gothic and Lolita Bible [magazine]
The Snow White Project
U:
Usagi [name]
V:
Vogue [magazine/brand]
Vicodin [medicine]
vs. [abbreviation]
Vivienne Westwood [name]
Volkswagen [car]
Visual Kei [music form]
W:
the Whitney [place]
WebMD [website]
Wu Zetian [name]
WS [title for art project]
Walt Disney [name]
X:
Xanax [medicine]
x-ray
x-rated
Y:
Z:
Zane [name]
Elisms 